Being Emotionally Wise meaning
Being Emotionally Wise means the capacity to control our emotions as well as those of others. A person who has emotional intelligence can control their emotions, even their negative ones, and use them to further accomplish their goals.
“If your emotional abilities are not in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.”
-Daniel Goleman.
READ THE FOLLOWING TO & FOR YOURSELF – Writer’s request
What are Emotions?
Emotions are feelings that I experience. They are very important information that my mind sends in form of experience just like “pain mechanisms in body”. If the body is hurt, it makes me experience pain so that I can take necessary actions immediately. This happens so that the need of body is attended. Similarly, emotions are great mechanism of my mind that tells me about my psychological needs.
What are Negative Emotions?
Negative emotions like sadness, anxiety, guilt indicate that I have not done something that was supposed to be done. It’s also called as Self-preservation mechanism of mind. Feeling negative emotions and not taking any action is never recommended medically. Feeling and experiencing emotions is normal but waking up and doing needful is important.
Indulging and experiencing continuous worry drains energy, gives stress, and makes me unhappy. While it is natural to worry but at the same time, I must do the needful to limit the amount I worry. I just need to tell myself that “there’s a cause of all these worries and I can control that cause. I am committed towards my goal. I do not need to waste my time anymore”.
Self-defeating and Self victimization
Another common thing that the most people indulge in is Self-victimization, that is the most favorite pass time of mind. When something unfavorable happens in life, mind starts feeling sorry for self, like I am a failure, I can’t do it and so on. Whereas the truth is we go under favorable and unfavorable situations every day. So, there’s an equal probability of both positive and negative outcomes. And it is normal that when we get an unfavorable outcome, we start experiencing a lot of negative emotions.
But here only wise persons can figure out that they are experiencing these negative emotions due to an unfavorable outcome. And they do not allow their mind to stuck up in the event of past. They accept the occurrence of an unfavorable situations, they do not reject the emotional despair, rather they go through emotions without being rebellious.
They proactively take control of the situation, collect the energy of emotions, and do what is supposed to be done. This process of experiencing the emotion and taking charge of it eventually turns a situation in a positive manner.
If I wish to be wise like above then I should try to refrain from indulging in Self-defeating and Self victimizing thought, like “It all happened because of me”, instead I need to say that “It’s ok, mistakes happen, it’s normal”. Just recognize what went wrong and realize. If I could stop it? I would have stopped it. But because I couldn’t, I did not”. I just need to believe myself, believe that I am a good human being.
I need to tell myself that “I have the ability to overcome it, I am the best, most capable, most powerful, intelligent…”. And once I start believing myself, I will be able to handle the situation in a better way and have control over my life.
Similarly, if a person didn’t stand for you in favorable way, just think – if s/he could, s/he would have but because s/he could not, s/he did not. We should never allow our mind to get stuck in any past emotions.
Ways to help you in Being Emotionally Wise Now
Listed below are some steps which may help you in Being Emotionally Wise
- Distance yourself from negative situation or the people who bring you down. Not necessary to completely cut-off with them, but distance yourself until you resolve your problems.
- Take pledge to be positive.
- Acknowledge and accept your every emotion.
- Pep up yourself, do things that make you feel good.
- Surround yourself with positive people.
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Pushplata Sharma, Psychologist, MA (Psychology)
Excellent performance by you. We hope you keep on trying like this