How to deal with your child if not studying enough? It can be so distressing and disappointing when it seems that your child has the potential and capability but s/he does not work hard enough. As a parent myself, the first thing that I would suggest is to create and maintain an overall positive environment around the child. To make the child study harder, don’t be angry at him/her, don’t micro-manage, don’t nag, don’t pressurize.
Let’s understand, why not?
How to deal with your child if not studying enough?
When you badger your child to study, you might say things like, “Why did you get up so late, why didn’t you study for two hours, why are you watching television.” This way you are criticizing the actions, that are signs. Signs that something is wrong. Instead of continuing to focus on the signs and symptoms, you must try to improve the fundamentals. In this instance, inspiring and motivating the child to work hard on an internal level will help in altering the situation.
The key is to find a purpose for studying and to create an interest or enthusiasm for it. Yes, it might be difficult to do so. But is there any other option? So, stop attacking the actions. Additionally, “micro-managing and nagging” don’t work. It actually works against you. It undoubtedly produces a bad atmosphere that is unfavorable to learning and development.
According to research, positive feelings are associated with improved learning, and worry can hinder learning. You deprive your child of happy feelings and raise stress levels when you micro-manage, nag, and pressurize them constantly. In this situation, how can you expect the child to learn effectively?
Ironically, you want children to learn, yet you are destroying the environment that will allow them to do so. I understand it’s not so easy to remain positive all the time. At times, it is frustrating despite all your push, they are not studying enough. But to encourage your child, you have to remain positive.
And to remain positive, firstly, leave your attachment to marks. Focus on your child’s progress in the long run if you want a healthy, happy, and functional child. If you understand that marks are a very short-term goal. It will be easy, to leave your attachment to marks. Many parents get so obsessed with marks that they forget the longer-term goals like the child’s actual learning, sleep, diet, fitness, mental health, recreation, social integration, etc.
If you focus on the bigger picture, and let go of the attachment to marks you won’t suddenly become disappointed or angry every time you hear your child score less than your expectations. You will remain positive. Which is good for you, good for the child, and good for the relationship.
Many parents fear that their child simply is not hardworking. How will they ever succeed? Please don’t judge your child’s hardworking capacity by the current levels which you see in the marks. Everyone has the capacity to work hard. So, let life take its own course. Rather than getting disappointed and angry with your child, empathize with your child. Children also want to make you feel happy, it’s only that they need your support. Be kind, and more accepting for you will see the required results.
Do not be reluctant to seek professional assistance.
Every child is different, and as a result, so are their requirements. Even if it is quite acceptable to dislike school and learning, there occasionally might be more going on. Some kids struggle with learning difficulties that make life more challenging for them. Consider getting expert assistance as soon as you believe your child is displaying signs of a disability. Children frequently experience disabilities including attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and dyslexia, although these conditions can be controlled. Get your child the care they need, and assist him in enhancing his academic abilities.
Learn more: Parenting Skills
Pooja Kapoor (A Research Scholar), Counsellor & Hypnotherapist, YOUR Confidant
