“Be a good role model, what you do matters!”
Practical Parenting aims to teach discipline in a way that builds a child’s self-esteem and supports a mutually respectful parent-child relationship, without breaking the child’s spirit. Its focus is on happiness, resilience, and positive youth development. Be a good role model, what you do matters!
Earlier in India the concept of joint family was very common. Children were easily learning or I should say, children were easily picking up most of the social and emotional skills from grand-parents, parents, uncles and aunts, siblings and cousins. But in the present scenario because of modernization, rural-urban migration, employment or at times because of difference in thoughts of the family members, the concept of nuclear family is rising. So, earlier the responsibilities which were shared by all the members of the joint family are now on the shoulders of mamma and papa.
And even if you are in a joint family, we have different gadgets like smart phones and smart TVs as new family members. Other major change in the society is that now in most of the families both the parents are working, so we need to learn new skills. As parents, we strive to nurture, protect and guide our children, through each stage of their lives. However, it is not always a smooth and easy path. As they grow and develop, there are times when our kids display undesirable or unexplainable behavior and we don’t know how to help them when they struggle.
While these parenting pains can be frustrating, there are parenting tips on how to stay calm and encourage more acceptable behavior.
“Be a good role model, what you do matters!”
Kids like a Copy Machine
Think of your kids like a copy machine who will mimic everything you do. If you make poor choices in behavior, you are giving them permission to act in the same way. Check-in, with yourself, and don’t lose it in front of the children.
There is a very high probability that if you are a choosy eater your child will be a choosy eater. If you are addicted to Netflix or Prime Videos your child will be addicted to the phone or maybe TV. And if you are a book lover, your child will also find interest in reading books. If you shout at your house helper or your spouse or your in-laws or neighbors and expect that your child, should speak softly, I am sorry, they will not do that. If you want your child to be respectful, helpful, and caring, you need to portray the same behavior and at the same time, you need to talk to them about all these values.
Here I would like to share my experience. One of my relatives complained to me that her son was addicted to the phone and she wanted me to talk to her son and counsel him. So, When I was interacting with this child, I noticed that for complete half an hour or 45 minutes this lady was playing a game on her mobile phone. In this particular type of situation, let me be very frank, counselors are not magicians. So, as a parent before expecting anything from children, we need to check ourselves.
Activity with Your Child
Another important principle to teach things to your child is to do the activity with your child. And keep in mind that you have to make the experience casual and friendly to establish a good joint venture. The younger your child, the easier it will be to involve them with yourself. Children might not be interested in learning how to sweep or clean the floor, but the majority of kids would be interested in working with their parents and doing something together as a team.
Even teenagers like it, it’s just that at times they want that their friends should not get to know about it. And at times they want that everyone should know, how they helped you. So, the idea is whenever you want your child to learn anything consider using the phrase “let’s do it” rather than “you do it”. Compared to nagging, lecturing, or pressuring them to do something, this is lot more enjoyable and productive. And doing things together will gradually become a culture of the family.
You will have opportunities to bond with your child through these collaborative projects you begin in your home. Doing regular day-to-day things with them is a wonderful time to bond. Use this time to talk to them, to give them full attention, to learn something from them/with them. If done well, any shared activity such as polishing shoes, filling water bottles, watering plants, or washing dishes with mom or dad will become one of the few things you and your child will cherish for the rest of your lives.
So, go ahead and start creating your memories with your children!
Watch here: CHILDREN ARE COPY MACHINES | RIGHT AGE TO TEACH VALUES? | ROLE MODELLING
Learn more: Parenting Skills
Pooja Kapoor (A Research Scholar), Counsellor & Hypnotherapist, YOUR Confidant
